WHY?

 

There are times when my head is so full of thoughts and there is so much I want to speak that it troubles me. Somewhere in my heart I know there is a wide gap between what one says (wants to convey) and what is heard (perceived by the listener due to preconceived notions or conveyed due to lack of appropriate words) so I seldom speak what is killing me. I always end up telling myself that world will not stop if I have something in my head. And no one will change only because I see certain faults in them. I know I am not the center of the universe.

Still, the problem remains. Today, I have too many why’s. Why are there so many emotions? Why are there so few words to express those emotions? Why do people always have their minds already made up so rigidly regarding the way they see some people? Why do not we walk the talk? Why do people have such fragile egos? Why can people not be biased? Why do people get satisfaction by blaming others? Why negative people are able to spread so much negativity around them when people actually yearn for positivity? Why cannot life be simple? Why cannot we be fair in our dealings with people? Why so much of hiding this and showing that? Why so much duplicity all around?

OMG! I do not even know if I am the only one so screwed up or are there people like me who have some such questions bothering them. What drives me crazy is that why those who can actually bring about a change so complacent? To keep my sanity in place, I always follow the mantra- “you can only change yourself”. But there’s a limit to how much one can change or for how long one can be quiet. Ah! I am going bonkers! And once again, I am looking for a recluse and my happy place. And once again, I find it in my kids’ innocent smiles, in their warm hugs, in my friends WYSIWYG personas and my papa’s no nonsense attitude.